I have many jobs, and in one of them, I do a lot of physical labor. Not an extreme amount, but so much so that a person in poor physical shape would have difficulty doing the things I do. Things like carrying/climbing a 7' ladder around a pretty large area, using carpentry tools like a level; hammer; nails; staple gun; etc..., and heavy lifting. They're not particularly difficult, but a lot of these things are not often done by women.
Once, while I was hammering a nail into some drywall to hang a large-ish metal frame, a man sees me. He decides that it would be a good idea to engage me in chat. So, he says, hillariously, "Don't they have enough men to do that?"
LOL
I politely said, "Oh, I'm perfectly capable of doing it, thanks." trying as hard as I could to be cheerful and not derisive...
There are many women who have my position throughout the company I work for, but I suspect that many of them get men to do the more "masculine" aspects of the job, like using power tools.
This man, though, didn't say that it was unusual for a woman to be doing this, or that he was impressed that I was ACTUALLY doing it. Those things would be offensive, too, but more passable.
No, this man said "Aren't the any men to do that?" implying that the only possible reason I could be using manly things is that there are no men available. I couldn't contain my rage after the man had left, and vented to some of my co-workers, but they didn't seem to think he was that out of line- I work with mostly married, middle-aged women (to give some perspective).
On an at least weekly basis, I am told by the other women I work with that they would never be caught dead doing all of the physical labor I do. They call me a "beast" (which I kind of like). They even sometimes suggest I have the only other man who works at the company to do some of these things for me instead. When this guy says he doesn't feel comfortable on a ladder, though, he is put-down and told that he needs to "man up".
DAMN IT!
I cannot express the level of frustration and anger I feel when I hear this bullshit. Why the fuck am I not good enough to stand on a God dammned ladder, or lift an 80 lb box of whatever? I am a relatively small woman, and I know that generally speaking women are not as physically strong as men. That's biology. I am pretty jacked, though. I would put myself in a league with any average man. So, why do people assume I can't do the things required by my job unless they've seen me do it before? At first glance, I would expect most people to size me up as a short, but sturdy woman. I guess it's either that I'm short, or a woman...
It's even worse for me because I don't dress like a "manly/butch" woman. I like to fix my hair and wear make-up. I enjoy nice clothes and looking "feminine". I'm sure that if I wore slouchy, "masculine" clothes, people would be more readily accepting of me as a physical force. I don't wear clothing that is inappropriate for the jobs I do, but they look nice. I'll wear some non-hazardous jewelry, or a belt around my waist. May be my hair will be down and curled. I accessorize. I'm not wearing a skirt and high heels on the ladder- so why is it sooooo surprising that I can hammer a nail while wearing an attractive shirt?
I know people think they're being supportive by pointing out that I do well with power tools, but it also implies that I shouldn't "normally" be able to use them.
This concept is also apparent in the recent well-meaning True Car commercial.
This service should be for anyone who just doesn't know much about cars. I hate that is focuses on women. In the comments for this, one man countered with the anecdote that he feels nervous about buying a purse because the one time he tried, he returned it the next day and took his mom to help him try again (I'm guessing this was for a gift, not for personal use). This isn't really the same, though, because he's admitting that he doesn't know anything about purses. Yes, most Men don't because they don't generally use them. I wouldn't know the first thing about buying a jock strap, so a service designed to help women purchase those (for whatever reason) could use a commercial aimed at women. There is NO WAY a woman can know about jock straps unless she's studied them. Cars, though, are different. If you've driven a car your whole adult life, and have paid attention to mechanics on things like oil changes or just any time you need a repair, you can conceivably understand enough to get by. Male or female.
People, just stop boiling it all down to gender (though I can't deny that there are trends and generalities that exist), and start judging people on an individual basis.
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