Masculine v. Feminine at work

I have many jobs, and in one of them, I do a lot of physical labor. Not an extreme amount, but so much so that a person in poor physical shape would have difficulty doing the things I do. Things like carrying/climbing a 7' ladder around a pretty large area, using carpentry tools like a level; hammer; nails; staple gun; etc..., and heavy lifting. They're not particularly difficult, but a lot of these things are not often done by women.

Once, while I was hammering a nail into some drywall to hang a large-ish metal frame, a man sees me. He decides that it would be a good idea to engage me in chat. So, he says, hillariously, "Don't they have enough men to do that?"

LOL

I politely said, "Oh, I'm perfectly capable of doing it, thanks." trying as hard as I could to be cheerful and not derisive...

There are many women who have my position throughout the company I work for, but I suspect that many of them get men to do the more "masculine" aspects of the job, like using power tools.

This man, though, didn't say that it was unusual for a woman to be doing this, or that he was impressed that I was ACTUALLY doing it. Those things would be offensive, too, but more passable.

No, this man said "Aren't the any men to do that?" implying that the only possible reason I could be using manly things is that there are no men available. I couldn't contain my rage after the man had left, and vented to some of my co-workers, but they didn't seem to think he was that out of line- I work with mostly married, middle-aged women (to give some perspective).

On an at least weekly basis, I am told by the other women I work with that they would never be caught dead doing all of the physical labor I do. They call me a "beast" (which I kind of like). They even sometimes suggest I have the only other man who works at the company to do some of these things for me instead. When this guy says he doesn't feel comfortable on a ladder, though, he is put-down and told that he needs to "man up".

DAMN IT!

I cannot express the level of frustration and anger I feel when I hear this bullshit. Why the fuck am I not good enough to stand on a God dammned ladder, or lift an 80 lb box of whatever? I am a relatively small woman, and I know that generally speaking women are not as physically strong as men. That's biology. I am pretty jacked, though. I would put myself in a league with any average man. So, why do people assume I can't do the things required by my job unless they've seen me do it before? At first glance, I would expect most people to size me up as a short, but sturdy woman. I guess it's either that I'm short, or a woman...

It's even worse for me because I don't dress like a "manly/butch" woman. I like to fix my hair and wear make-up. I enjoy nice clothes and looking "feminine". I'm sure that if I wore slouchy, "masculine" clothes, people would be more readily accepting of me as a physical force. I don't wear clothing that is inappropriate for the jobs I do, but they look nice. I'll wear some non-hazardous jewelry, or a belt around my waist. May be my hair will be down and curled. I accessorize. I'm not wearing a skirt and high heels on the ladder- so why is it sooooo surprising that I can hammer a nail while wearing an attractive shirt?

I know people think they're being supportive by pointing out that I do well with power tools, but it also implies that I shouldn't "normally" be able to use them.

This concept is also apparent in the recent well-meaning True Car commercial.

This service should be for anyone who just doesn't know much about cars. I hate that is focuses on women. In the comments for this, one man countered with the anecdote that he feels nervous about buying a purse because the one time he tried, he returned it the next day and took his mom to help him try again (I'm guessing this was for a gift, not for personal use). This isn't really the same, though, because he's admitting that he doesn't know anything about purses. Yes, most Men don't because they don't generally use them. I wouldn't know the first thing about buying a jock strap, so a service designed to help women purchase those (for whatever reason) could use a commercial aimed at women. There is NO WAY a woman can know about jock straps unless she's studied them. Cars, though, are different. If you've driven a car your whole adult life, and have paid attention to mechanics on things like oil changes or just any time you need a repair, you can conceivably understand enough to get by. Male or female.

People, just stop boiling it all down to gender (though I can't deny that there are trends and generalities that exist), and start judging people on an individual basis.

The beginning...

I try to be sophisticated and stylish in the way I dress, wear my hair, the way I act... but I suspect that people see right through it. They see someone who is trying to look sophisticated and stylish. They see an insecure, socially awkward, girl. A girl, not a woman.

This is always the way I see myself, as a girl. I'm not sure why this is, but it's something I can't shake.

Right now, though, I feel like a woman.

In the following pages, I am going to say the things I usually don't. These are the things I usually think, but never voice. Things I'm sure that, if I even said to my friends or family, they'd give sycophantically encouraging and cliche responses.

So, I'm opening myself up to anyone that might stumble upon this blog. May be no one will care, but it'd be nice to have a sort of public diary. I guess we'll see.